A Sanity Update

So as you may have noticed over time, updates tend to come is small bursts. This is due to my depression and as such, it can make writing articles very difficult. I have a tone of ideas, but nothing gets done due to it. As of this week, this condition went downhill rather badly.

You may have noticed that last week I did a short article on suicide and some of the basic thoughts that go through ones mind at the time. Well, Tuesday night at work was one such occasion, in which the stress and physical pain brought on by my work place (who I can't name for legal reasons, that being I'm still employed by them) brought on a series of such thoughts that left me in a rather bad way. Now having been down this road before, I do have some ways of handling it, but the result has left me unable to work until I get medical clearance (and oh boy, will my doctor have something to say about this). Needless to say, the following days were quite scary, though now I'm more confused as to what to do.

Now the problem with all this is that, while I now have time to rest, I'm having trouble with having things to do that would improve my health. I don't really know many people and out of them, I can't really talk to any one of them for support. Likewise, I have had a complete lack of energy and motivation (more so them usual) which has effected my ability to do anything. The depression is bad and while coping mechanisms can only do so much, I need some distractions too to help.

Although, I did get that citadel forest painted up (minus any foliage, still need to get that) and with any luck I might get a photo of that and upload it, along with my WiP Gremlins, so we'll see how that goes. I'm also going to be looking at study options for next year in order to keep myself active, though what they are I still don't know, but my clinical psychologist says it should be something to do with my likes and that I can use it in everyday activities (probably in relation to those likes). My focus was too much on a future career and because some career councillors are incapable of helping you plan that (think about that one for a second), I am now told to focus more on it like an everyday thing or a hobby instead and see what becomes of that career wise. Not sure myself, but if anyone has any ideas I'm opened to suggestions to look at.

As for the next few days, I'm not entirely sure. With luck, I'll hear from my doctor tomorrow and hopefully come up with a plan, but I do know my brother wants to come around Tuesday for another game of Malifaux. His crew box has arrived (his first master is Misaki while he waits for his next master, Shen Long, to be released) and with luck, the game mat will arrive. Perhaps a game of that might lift my spirits.

I don't know. We'll see...