Understanding Suicide

This is not a topic I ever like to reflect on, but now seems like one of those times that I must. I won't draw attention to a particular situation, but a number of Youtubers have stopped making videos for a few days after learning of the tragic events of one of there own. The saddest part is, this isn't the first time and it will most likely not be the last.

However, it seems that people lack an understanding of why? This tends to lead people to the conclusion that those who commit this act are somehow selfish and care little for the feelings of others. The thing is, it's actually the opposite. If anything, some do it because they feel they are a burden to others and by doing so, they hope to take away that stress and burden that they feel they are. Others tend to find themselves in situations that they feel there is no escape from and trust me when I say, that is a very terrifying feeling. Simple words can hurt more then any physical wound could and at the wrong time, a persons self control can reach breaking point.

So why? Mostly cause society still has trouble accepting depression and many don't know how to deal with it. Those with it tend to find it hard to seek help, partly cause they'll feel no one will understand or that they'll be ridiculed or that simply seeking help is a true sign of weakness. It's so easy for people to attack those with it, clearly cause those type of people have self-esteem issues (as do most Internet trolls). Because those with it feel that no one will understand or that they feel that they maybe misunderstood, they keep their emotions bottled up and that eventually becomes too much to bare.

But why am I talking about it? Thing is, I've had clinical depression for roughly 17 years and it's gotten worse over time. I had gone through that how 'should I, shouldn't I' phase of suicide in my teens and it was only cause my mother took action and from that I decided to not go through with it. It hasn't stopped the thoughts and there has been more then a few times that I've considered it over the years, but I now find the thought scary and tend to take things day by day to cope better. That said, I have been seeing a clinical psychologist recently and while we have had some dark moments, I have found her help to be just that, helpful. Life isn't the best, but I'm beginning to see things from a different point of view. I may have it for the rest of my life, but I'm learning ways to help keep living that life.

If you feel like this, if you feel your heading to that dark place, please seek help. If you know someone who has depression, talk to them and let them know your there to help. Seeking help is not a weakness. If anything, doing so shows you have more courage them most people. So please, seek help and try to stay positive, no matter how dark it gets.